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The Brewers are Whiny Little Ticket Bitches

February 8, 2018

By Danny Rockett

 

What a bunch of cheese curd crunching whiny Wisconsinites we've got 100 miles to the north of Chicago! A pre-sale for Wisconsin addresses only? Puhhll-Fuckin'-EEEZE!

And look at Craig Counsell...Arms crossed, trying to look bad assed. He looks like my high school math teacher telling me he's disappointed in my lack of effort recently. Looks like the worst thing he could possible do to you is bag your groceries and crack an egg. Nerd!!!! 

What?! Our Chicago money not green enough to sit in your shitty stadium that looks like a cross between the Emerald City and a furniture warehouse to watch the Cubs whoop yo ass on the regs? If it wasn't for Cubs fans dough, you'd be down to 3 employed sausages for your stupid ass wiener race. Who's on the bubble Brewers? Chorizo? Fucking racists...

The Brewers Trumpian Ticket Wall will never stand in Cubs country. A Call To Arms!! Wisconsin Cubs fans!! Buy up the pre-sale and sell tickets to us down here in Chicago! No!! Not just Cubs fans from Chicago!! From all over the world!!

Cause that's how WE roll Brewers...Cubs fans welcome anyone in our ballpark, Wrigley Field, the Friendly Confines. Well...maybe not Sammy Sosa anymore...but that's another story. Cubs fans welcome everyone (except Sammy Sosa) regardless of race, creed, color, sexual orientation and ADDRESS! 

So...I'll see you all at Wrigley North on April 5th when the Cubs begin their sweep of a 4 game set. But sorry...I won't be able to make your little Ed Sheeran concert during the World Series...

 

PS. Check out the Laverne and Shirley parody posted below from one of my many fun trips to Wrigley North!

 

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