Menu

header photo

Buy us Tix and Beer by shopping through our search bar!

Yu Darvish is Pissing Me Off

January 7, 2018

What the fuck Yu Darvish? You're acting like pretty polly princess not deciding to come play for the Cubs. Every day that passes by with no decision from Yu pisses me off even further. I don't even want him anymore. He'd rather walk around some crappy zoo with his wife and kids in Japan than come to Cubs Convention in a week. And that...my frenzzzz does not a Cubs player make. 

This was tweeted by his wife and re tweeted by Yu. 

前もって(なるべく)予定を立てないが今の我が家のルール笑
そんな我が家に今日、練習終わって帰ってきたボスから突然の「動物園行くよ!」号令が✨
テーマパーク系嫌いなパパが、頑張ってくれた2018年晴れた日の午後でした✨
1/2にも号令ありましたが寒すぎて行ったら閉まってました笑
ありがとう

I assume in Japanese this means, "My husband Yu can't even decide if he wants fermented soy beans or dried seaweed for breakfast so we're going to the zoo. If he likes the bears better, we're signing with the Cubs, if he likes the bird house he's signing with the Cardinals, and if he likes chimpanzees, he's signing with the Astros, because they've been to space."

This is no way to choose a baseball team Yu...Yu...Yu...undecider! And that place looks more like an old west ghost town than a zoo. Yu probably changed his mind on the way to the zoo and ended up going to the ghost town!

Plus! He's not even trying to stay in shape! Look at his lunch?

That's the crappiest matzo ball soup and the bumpiest lemon I've ever seen! And where is the other half of that banana Yu?! Probably meeting with the Yankees and being eaten by that big ape Aaron Judge! 

In conclusion. Yu Darvish is a terrible person for what he's doing to Cubs fans. If he waits any longer, he's gonna be like that popular boy who waited too long to ask a girl to prom and then when all the hot girls got dates with nerds he ended up going with his friend's sister who has braces and back-ne and no date! Good luck with that Yu. 

PS. Please sign with the Cubs.

 

Become a Patron!

Shop for Chicago Cubs fan gear from Nike, Majestic and New Era at Shop.MLB.com

Go Back

Comment