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Sweatyetta Sails

Well. Finally we have an answer. Jake Arrieta is now a Philadelphia Phillies pitcher and will be rooted for by #TFG.

This Philly fanatic intentionally vomited on a dad and little girl, which apparently resulted in the black eye you see before you in his police photo. Read about his winning moment here.

But I'm not here to bash Philly fans or Philadelphia as a city. Well kind of...I'm writing this because I think Jake Arrieta made a huge mistake and so did the Phillies.

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Jake has been a man without a team and this signing of 3 years, 75 million, though front loaded and incentive laden, is not as good as a deal as Theo Epstein and the Cubs offered him. If the deal Jake was offered was anywhere close to what the Cubs gave Yu Darvish, he turned down the better deal, at least as far as guaranteed years goes, to pitch for a team that is unlikely to make the playoffs. Maybe the Wild Card. But even if Jake is worth 5 WAR this year (and he won't be), that hardly places the Phillies in contention unless some of their young prospects step up and outperform expectations. 

But Jake's choice to pitch in Philly is bad for another reason. It's about sweating. We at the Son Ranto Show noticed that when Jake labored through innings in 2017, he got real sweaty. And now, Jake will be pitching most of his games in Philly. One of the most humid places in the county. I lived there during 2 different summers for 3 months at a time. And let me tell you. It's hot. With average temps in the mid to high 80s from June through August. Plus, games in sweltering places like Washington DC and Atlanta. I think you're likely to see the return of Baltimore Jake, at least in terms of sweatiness. And we all saw what that did to Jake last year.

Chicago's temps are an average 5 degrees cooler than Philadelphia, and the only NL Central road team we play where it gets real hot and sweaty is St. Louis. And though Jake has a miniscule .60 ERA over 2 games at Citizens Bank Ballpark in Philadelphia. He has a 4.40 ERA in St. Louis and a 5.56 ERA in Baltimore. I'm predicting a lot of sweat and a lot of opposing teams runs.

Add to it all the fact the the Phillies don't really have a solid catching situation. Jorge Alfaro and Casey Knapp are young and unproven, though Alfaro is a prospect, and veteran Cameron Rupp is fighting to stay the incumbent catcher. Plus Philadelphia's overall middling defense, you're looking at a possibly long and sweaty summer for Jake Sweatyetta. I mean Arrieta...

In addition, the Phillies have a pitching coach, Rick Kranitz, who was the pitching coach for the Orioles before. Remember Jake? The Orioles? Who you said ruined everything for you before you were a Cubs? Good luck when the mechanics go awry again like they did last year. 

The Phillies aren't winning anything this year except maybe a wild card lottery ticket, and Jake chose a change of scene. And though I really appreciate what Jake Arrieta did for the Cubs who over-performed in 2015 thanks largely to his efforts. He was simply not the Ace we had hoped in the championship year of 2016, and definitely not in 2017 when he was barely worth 2 wins and didn't even pitch in a 7th inning. 

Now to dog on Philly a bit. Their cheesesteaks are nowhere near as good as an Italian Beef in Chicago. They even use Cheese Whiz instead of actual cheese!

Their pretzels are not pretzel shaped. 

And they have some of the worst fans in the major leagues. Just as violent as Dodger fans but way stupider. I was accosted by Philly fans when the Mets played there in 2011, and I was with my 14 year old niece! I used to joke that when the really stupid immigrants came to Ellis Island, they sent them to Philadelphia and told them it was NYC. The morons probably didn't even figure out they were in the wrong city for half a decade. 

So....Thanks for the wonderful memories Jake. But you done played this all wrong. If I were him, I'd fire Scott Boras immediately. But maybe wait until the night the Cubs win the World Series in 2018 and Jake's sitting at home wishing he was there. 

PS. Buying Cubs tickets? Buy em through this link and we'll get paid!



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