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Cubs vs Rockies Preview 4/30-5/2

By Danny Rockett

Many Cubs fans have been calling for the head of Nolan Arenado ever since German Marquez spun KB's helmet cartoonishly around last weekend in Colorado, but the baseball gods, led by ancient baseball historian Pythagoras and some Joe Maddon voodoo doll pinning, have the Rockies limping into Chicago. 

Check out this list of injuries the Rockies have suffered since Bryant was hit.

Tyler Anderson, Wednesday's starter, had heart palpitations in Miami. Either this is a result of a coked up club night in The Magic City, Joe Maddon's wine fueled voodoo doll ceremony, or Tyler's heart was completely broken by seeing KB's beautiful face being pummeled by a baseball. 

Kyle Freeland, Mondays starter, has a sore left heel. This is no doubt voodoo doll related. No other plausible explanation.

DJ LeMahieu and Carlos Gonzales both have hamstring issues, though are expected to play. At least until Maddon pops open a nice Pinot Noir and starts sticking pins into their MLB licensed dolls. 

To top it all off. Former Cub Chris Rusin has warts! That is some witchy ass shit right there.

Anyhow, I love how the Cubs retaliated. No warnings issued. And the result? The Rockies only scored 2 runs all weekend against the Marlins, winning their only game of the series 1-0 and getting shutout yesterday. 

Colorado is 4-6 in their last 10, 5 games in back of Arizona in the NL West and despite their winning record, they have a negative 24 run differential, which baseball historian Pythagoras said should make the Rockies 12-17. The Cubs helped them to 2 of these losses a week ago winning 16-5 and 9-7, but losing the middle game 5-2.

Offensively, the Cubs top the Rockies in Batting Avg, OBP, and of course HBP's. The Rockies top the Cubs in stolen bases, walks and homers.

Pitching wise, The Cubs team ERA is a full run better. However, it's mostly the Cubs bullpen that makes it so, which is 2 runs better. So much for spending all your money on a bullpen the day after the World Series ends. Stupid Rockies. Another caveat to consider is that the Rockies home ERA is 2 runs worse than their road record and they've won more on the road than at home. But I guess that shouldn't be a surprise given their stadium is known as a hitters paradise. 

Defensively, the Rockies have half the errors the Cubs do, putting Chicago in the bottom 1/3 of the majors and the Rockies in the top 3rd. If the Cubs decide to try and steal some bases, and they probably won't seeing how they are dead last in this category, but you'd have 76% chance at making it vs. only a 62% chance against Cubs catching.

It's gonna finally be warm at Wrigley, so head down to the game and buy your Stubhub tickets through this link so we can get a little paid! Doesn't cost a dime extra. Just click below and head to Wrigley!

Here are the pitching match-ups unless Joe Maddon starts sticking pins in Rockies dolls.


Battle of the Leftys! Kyle Freeland 1-3, 4.33 Vs. Jon Lester 2-1, 3.29

NBC Sports


Sunny 71-54


Note* Kyle Hendricks should be pitching on Tuesday so we’d have the battle of the Kyles and I could be happy.

Anderson’s heel hurts. Because he stomped in anger after seeing KB’s beautiful face get hit.

Still managed to pitch a 3 hit shutout against Whales Vagina with 8 Ks

Cubs got 5 runs, 3 earned and 4 walks last May against him. And we beat his ass 8-1

Current Cubs have a .349 OPS in 21 PAs against him. 0 homers


Last time vs. Cleveland, Lester gave up 3 Lesters and the Cubs lost to Cleveland

Jon gave up 4 runs on 6 hits and lost to Colorado last June

Gonzales, Ianetta, Arenado, LeMahieu have Lestered off him.

But Gonzales and Ianetta who have seen him most are batting .143 and .182 against Jon



Jon Gray 2-4, 5.79 Vs Kyle Hendricks 2-1, 3.10



Partly cloudy 73-60


Cubs got 7 Runs off Gray, 6 earned on 4/20. He lasted 5 IP

Then Gray went out and pitched a 3 hit shutout against Whales Vagina

Baez homered and went 3-3.

Bryant, Rizzo and Contreras went 0-3


Kyle gave up 3 runs on 5 hits and walked no one last time vs. Rockies through 5 IP

Then went out and gave up 0 runs on 4 hits against the Brewers and lasted 7

Dahl, Desmond, and Arenado have homered off him.

Arenado and Lemahieu only batting .263. (boring stat alert!)

Rockies have a .723 OPs in 125 PAs (another boring stat alert)



Tyler Anderson 1-0, 4.10 Vs. Yu Darvish 0-2, 5.26


50% chance of showers 74-60

Anderson left his last start with a heart issue. Probably caused by the heartache of seeing one of the most beautiful faces in baseball get pummeled with a pitch.

Cubs got 2 runs on 6 hits through 6 and he K’d 6. 666!!! (Cubs lost thanks to these devilish numbers)

Vs. Miami, only lasted 1.1 IP and gave up a hit. Then the heart thing...

Cubs have 34 ABs. OPS of .849 against him. Russell homered.


Yuuuuuuu gave up 5 runs on 5 hits and walked 4 in the loss to Colorado last weekend. 4.2 IP.

He was good till he was bad.

Then 1 unearned run, Kd 8 against the Brewers and went 6.

Cargo has homered off him

Ianetta seen him the most. Only 2-16 with 8 Ks.


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